


We'll Defy the Rules Until We Die

by EternallyEC



Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Episode: s05e10 The Day the World Went Away, F/F, Gen, Her Name is Root, I broke my own heart, Soul-Crushing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:01:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25977892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EternallyEC/pseuds/EternallyEC
Summary: "The life I've led, a good end would be a privilege."Root thinks about her life and how incredible it is to have people to leave behind.
Relationships: Root & Harold Finch, Root & the Machine, Root/Sameen Shaw
Comments: 4
Kudos: 30





	We'll Defy the Rules Until We Die

**Author's Note:**

> I know I wrote another version of this, but I've been watching POI fanvideos and re-reading some old analyses I have and I just really needed to get this out. Root truly has one of the most unique, amazing character arcs of anything I've ever watched and I love getting into her head.

_Our lives are stories, waiting to be told_   
_In search of silver linings, we discovered gold_   
_And judgment taught us that our hearts were wrong_   
_But they're the ones that we'll look down upon_

_The rules say our emotions don't comply_   
_But we'll defy the rules until we die_

_-_ **Sinners, Lauren Aquilina**

It's almost funny, the way you take breathing for granted until suddenly you realize just how limited your breaths are. 

Each breath she draws into her lungs is accompanied by a burning pain unlike any she’s ever known, and Root knows that she won’t be coming back from this. But there’s no time to worry about that, not with a target on Harry’s head and the very near-miss they’ve already experienced. If the Machine hadn’t seen the glint off the sniper’s rifle and warned Root even a second later… 

She shakes her head, unable to think about that. Root has years of compartmentalizing under her belt and she uses that to her advantage now, forcing everything from her mind in order to solely focus on the mission. On Harold. On saving the first real friend she’s had since Hanna all those years ago, the man who’d required a great deal from her and who had helped to mold her into a better woman. 

She’s learned so much from him and now, it’s her duty to do whatever it takes to ensure his survival, no matter what happens to her. And with that thought comes the realization that whatever happens won’t be good; she’s played the role of a doctor and listened to Sameen enough to know that the location of her wound and how lightheaded and woozy she already feels is proof enough of that. 

_ That’ll be the blood loss,  _ she thinks clinically before pushing the thoughts aside. Her focus narrows to a razor-sharp point as she listens to the god in her ear and obeys, her slow reaction time strengthened by the habit following Her orders has become over the years. And then they’re forced to a stop and Root feels a crash of relief overtake her as she watches the police approach.

Her head slumps back against the headrest and her eyes flutter closed before she forces them open again, focusing on Harry as he’s pulled from the car. 

_ He’ll be safe now _ , She whispers in Root’s ear and she finally allows herself to relax as much as she can for the seconds before she’s suddenly all too aware of  _ everything _ . The searing pain in her belly perfectly mirrors the burning in her throat with every breath she sucks in, and the look of shocked horror on Harold’s face makes her heart ache and swell at the time. 

Ache, because it’s confirmation of what she already knows; her part in the battle is over, she’s reached the end of the line or whatever boring, overused cliches one might use in this situation. She’s dying, to put it bluntly, and she knows it. Swell, because it’s confirmation of what she already knows; she’s earned the love and respect of the man who created God and who had given her life purpose. It’s the feeling of knowing that her death will be mourned, something she knows wouldn’t have been true even a few years ago. 

She wishes that she had the strength to comfort him, to tell him that she’s okay and that, if she had it to do over again, she’d have made the same decision. But her mouth is no longer responding to her mind’s commands and she can’t hold her eyes open anymore and, at the Machine’s whispered command, she lets them fall close again. 

The police at her side are the farthest thing from her mind as she feels the black void of unconsciousness beckoning to her, feeling for all the world like a kind of saving grace she can only liken to the way she’d felt the first time the Machine had called her of Her own volition. She idly wonders if Hanna might be waiting for her there, if it’s her presence that she’s sensing. 

Her focus, so sharp and defined just moments ago, has faded to nothing and the Machine’s voice is little more than a comforting buzz that she can’t quite comprehend. But she doesn’t need to hear or understand the words to sense the feeling behind them, to hear Her apology that Root doesn’t need or deserve. She knows that she would give anything to be able to tell Her that, but she knows it’s a risk she can’t afford to take. 

But there is a risk that she is willing to take, one that she knows she’d risk anything for. “Tell Shaw,” she whispers weakly, using the last of strength to force them out. Even then, her voice is so faint that she worries it won’t carry, even with the number of electronic devices and microphones that are surrounding her now that she’s been loaded into the ambulance.

But then she hears the Machine’s answering confirmation and she’s able to relax again, a pained smile forming as she’s assured that She’ll deliver Root’s message to Shaw.

Sameen is a soldier through and through, and Root knows that she’ll survive this. She also knows that the odds of the Persian being further damaged by this, the very thing she’d killed herself so many times over to prevent, are astronomical and really, that’s the only regret she has in anything. 

The last thing she’s ever wanted to do was to hurt Shaw, and her soul bleeds at the very thought of what her death will do to her. 

But she knows that she’s with John, and the thought gives her comfort. Harry doesn’t understand Sameen, but John does and she knows that he’ll help her.  _ Maybe they’ll help each other,  _ she considers with a warmth in her stomach that outweighs the pain as she considers the incredible feat of having gained people who will mourn her when she’s gone. 

It’s true that she and Sameen weren’t given enough time, but when someone has lived on borrowed time for their entire life, how can they feel anything but grateful for the time they did have? She can’t find it within herself to be upset, not when she knows how unlikely it was for her path to wind up where it did. A sense of belonging, of family, of  _ home _ . All are things that Samantha Groves had never had or expected to have again after that night in the library, and they’re things that Root could never take for granted.

_ "The life I've led, a good end would be a privilege, _ " she'd once told Harold, never one to shy away from the grim reality of war. And even now, as she slips closer and closer to the sleep that she knows she won’t wake up from, she knows that the words carry even more weight now. 

She’s done so many things that she regrets now, but as she finally slips away with the Machine whispering words of gratitude and assurances that She’ll care for the others in her absence, all she can think of is the good she’s accomplished and the family she’s leaving behind. Her voice is the last thing she hears and Sameen’s face, painted with a small but genuine smile as she teases her about her flirting, is the last thing she sees before she succumbs to the blackness. 

It might not seem like much to anyone else, but to Root, it is everything.

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think! And come scream with me on Tumblr @ amandadawnblock!


End file.
